it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
