You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
