is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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