Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
