If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
