You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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