??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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