he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
