Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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