I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
