"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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