On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
