and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
