Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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