sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
