if i can run in heels then i can drive
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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