Dual....:-)
Do you still have your period?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
