I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
kristin has been a bad kristin
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
