omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
