everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
