so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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