fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
