If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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