He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
