And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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