Your tits are I can't wait for
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
