As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
