The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
