mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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