My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
