I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
