who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
