I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
