I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
