my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want to make out with him forever
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
