Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
