Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize