Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
