hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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