last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
