Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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