We won't sleep together?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
