Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
