you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
