she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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