First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
