You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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