So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
