guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize