Its about making memories worth repressing
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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