You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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