Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
