i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
