I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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