If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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