I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
